#happening

Currently, my life feels like a whirlwind! So many things are happening and changing and I can hardly keep up!

We recently received our white coats from the University. Its monogrammed with my name on it so everyone knows who I am. Sadly, the day of the ceremony is probably the only day I will ever wear it! That was on Saturday afternoon. Saturday night I packed up my apartment and loaded it all into a U-Haul to go to West Plains. My lease on my apartment was up and I didn't want to pay DOUBLE rent for 2 extra months!! My lovely friend Amber was gracious enough to sublet her dining room to me. She has a 1 bedroom apartment, and I pretty much have a studio. I only have an air mattress to sleep on, clothes and toiletries at her apartment. And so far, its been going pretty good. Trexie is there and she thinks she's queen of the castle. Our schedules keep us both busy so its not like we get to sit around and watch tv like old ladies (Although we do that some)

As if moving and white coat ceremony in the same weekend weren't enough, the university decided to give us our 3rd year competency exams the following Monday. So we got to take tests over Cochlear Implants, Genetics, Central Auditory Processing Disorders, and Aural Rehabilitation. Significantly better than the 13 we took in August, but still a buzzkill to my day!

I signed a lease on an apartment in Phoenix. I haven't seen it in person, and won't until move-in day, but the other extern is living in the same complex. I figured if she liked it enough to live there it can't be too much of a trash heap right? It looks beautiful and is super close to work so it should be awesome right? HOPEFULLY!

and the biggest news of all right now: I FINISHED MY THESIS!!!!!! My research was approved and submitted and done and over and I never have to read about sound levels of toys or daycares again. If you're interested Clay Franklin has a copy of it in his office! Haha

Right now its T-minus 30 days until I am enroute to the desert! I am beyond excited. Just have to finish up a few loose ends and buy some sunscreen!!

Sorry I'm not Sorry.

This is an angry tirade just FYI.

Sorry I talked to you that one night.
Sorry I hung out with you the next day.
Sorry I never told you the truth.
Sorry I told you where I was that one night.
Sorry I went back to your house.
Sorry I went to your house again, and again and again.
Sorry I liked you.
Sorry I had real feelings.
Sorry you had feelings too.
Sorry I got to know all your friends.
Sorry I went places with you.
Sorry I met you out.
Sorry I went home with you on my birthday.
Sorry you said the things you did.
Sorry I believed you.
Sorry I gave a damn.
Sorry it had to end like this.
Sorry you turned out to be a coward.

Sorry I'm not sorry you missed out on the best thing you could have had.
Sorry I'm not sorry for thinking I can and will do better.
Sorry im not sorry for feeling relieved it's not my problem anymore.

Quarter Century

My 25th birthday came and went so fast I hardly had time to realize it was happening...

Saturday night was just dinner with friends and some barhopping downtown. I of course ended up being embarassed on the piano at the piano bar. It was bittersweet to know I have had 25 birthdays in Missouri, and this was my last one...at least for 1 year anyways.

Sunday, my parents came up for the day and we did a little shopping. They took me out to lunch, and later for ice cream at Andy's (both of which were amazing!)

Monday was my actual birthday. I had said a long time ago that I'd love to go see the Springfield Cardinals play the St Louis Cardinals at the exhibition game, but tickets were very hard to come by. Big Whiskey's had a contest awarding the most spirited fan 2 tickets to the game. I dressed up in all my Cardinals gear and ventured down. The other finalist was a guy with a big visible Cardinal tattoo on the back of his calf. The judge said, "Well this guy has a tattoo, what do you have?" and I slowly lifted the back of my shirt to reveal that I also had a cardinals tattoo! I had also made a poster than said "My only birthday wish is for Cardinal tickets!" and lo and behold I won the tickets.

It was a beautiful night for a game and whichever team won didn't matter (I think St. Louis won though). It may not have been my most exciting and wild birthday, but I guess that comes with age right?

In other news, I have signed the lease on an apartment in Phoenix. I guess its really happening now. Its in the same complex as my co-resident and less than 2 miles from the hospital. I think its going to be beautiful and I'm pretty excited to check it out. Until then, I am living in the dining room of my wonderful friend Amber who graciously allowed me to be a squatter at her apartment since my lease was up.

I also recently got my white coat for my program. Its getting closer bit by bit now. I have a good fnished draft of my research submitted, 3rd year comps are over...Just have to survive the rest of the semester now!

SPRING BREA...oh wait...

Well, its that week that rolls around once a year every March...when classes cease and hoards of college kids head to the beach. Well most college kids, not this one. I guess I shouldn't pout. I have been lucky enough to have gone on 3 different spring breaks in my 7 year collegiate career.

When I was a junior in college, Kelly and I went to Clearwater Beach, FL. It wasn't a super exciting trip, but we got to lay out in the sun, be lazy, and do some fun stuff.

The next year, Kelly and I teamed up again for a real authentic spring break trip to South Padre Island, TX. (Thanks Mama P for the sweet hookups!) It was pretty much everything I expected in a spring break trip. Late nights, long days a the beach, not nearly enough sleep, and too much fast food. That was one of the best weeks of my life, and every time I hear a song that was popular during spring of 2009 I have flashbacks to that week!

Last year, when I was a 2nd year grad student, I went to New Orleans to visit Ellen during Spring Break, which just happened to fall on Mardi Gras. It was also an amazing experience! Parades all day on St Charles Ave. Moseying around Bourbon St all night. I saw things I've never seen before (and a lot I never care to see again!) It was defiintely a week I'll never forget, even if my memories are a bit sketchy.

This year, I'm working on my Spring Break. :( I guess this is what grown-up life is like huh? I didn't actually have to come into work today, but chose to since I'd rather be off the week of my birthday. The crew thats still around Springfield are helping ease the pain of being stuck in this cloudy rainy midwestern town, but it certaintly doesn't help that this one boy I've been talking to a lot lately is in Panama City Beach, and sending me pictures and texts about how fantastic the beach is. I know its awesome, ok? I'm insanely jealous that I'm a "big girl" now and I don't get to do fun spring breaks any more.

I guess I should look forward to living in a vacation destination town for the next year, and believe me I do, but it doesn't ease the jealously and slight case of depression I've been having seeing all these pictures on Facebook and whatnot of how awesome PCB is. Guess all I can say is "been there, done that!"

In other news, I think we've made a final decision on apartments for next year! I'm ready to make it official and know where I'm going to be living, instead of just hoping for the best!!

The Little Engine that Could

Well, this past weekend was one for the record books. Saturday morning was a pivotal point in my rather long college career. Praxis day! The Praxis is a pretty standard licensing exam given in all different fields that require you to have any sort of license to practice. Audiology is one of those fields that requires it, and I tend to compare it to the Bar exam for lawyears, or the NCLEX for nurses.

Anyways so that was at 10:45 Saturday morning. Kathy and I attempted to study the entire week before, but our attempts were somewhat clouded by our desire to eat junkfood and go the the mall (bad girls I know) Regardless, if we didnt have a pretty good understanding of what was going to be on the test without re-studying every class we've had so far, well then we will probably not make very good audiologists.

This weekend also happened to be the one chosen for one of my best undergrad friends, Michelle's bachelorette party. With her wedding in early June and her bridal party living all over the place, it was difficult to find a good weekend! Anyways, I had to be in STL for dinner at a nice restaurant at 5:30. About 2:00 when I finally got out of the Praxis, I rushed home and threw everything I needed into a bag and took off. I knew I was going to be cutting it short, but I was gonna try my best.

I rolled into STL right as the girls were getting ready to head to the restaurant, so quickly I ended up driving some people there since my car was already out. I looked like a fish out of water compared to my cutely dressed friends in yoga pants, a tshirt, a messy pony tail, and what was left from yesterday's makeup. Oh well, I was SO excited to see my undergrad friends!

After a fantastic dinner, we went back to our hotel and got ready (so I didn't look like the outcast friend anymore) Even though our lives have changed and we live in different towns and hadn't seen each other in a year, it was like nothing had changed. We were the same silly girls we always were, laughing and having a blast.

I have decided that I most prefer to travel from bar to bar by limo. It was way easier than walking, having a DD, or a taxi. We just go out and there he is, waiting to take us to the next place...and the limo is always full of drinks!

After a night of games, shots, laughs, and everything in between, I am so glad I got to see all those girls, and its such a good feeling to know that even though our lives are changing, our friendship remains!

I drove home Sunday, only to turn around and drive to Sedalia on Monday, and Warrensburg on Tuesday morning for work. The poor little caliber is getting lots and lots of miles this spring! It sucks how expensive gas is right now!

BTW: my pictures from the party are on facebook if you're my friend (which you probably are) check them out.

Overwhelmingly Overwhelmed!

I think this title could pretty much desribe not only my life right now, but the lives of my 11 classmates as we push towards that light that is FINALLY at the end of the tunnel!

Right now, I (as should all my classmates) should be studying furiously for the praxis exam this weekend. I paid $130 to take the test, and it pretty much determines how awesome or crappy my month of April is, but I just can't find it in me to sit down and study for hours on end. I think my ability to do that is all but washed away with 7 years of college.

If we don't pass the praxis, we have to take 3rd year comps, which is totally crappy. BUT it gets even better. They are the Monday after our white coat ceremony when everyone's family will be in town, and the Monday after I have to move out of my apartment. Awesome. If I don't happen to pass the praxis, I have to take that again the last weekend in April so it just keeps getting better.

Oh, then theres our research. Everyone is "balls deep" writing lit reviews, collecting and interpreting data, and who knows what else. What seemed like we had forever to do is now looming right in front of us threatening to make us stay even longer!

I'm having so many mixed emotions about moving. I'm super excited to start over in a new city, and see new things and make new friends (and maybe go to a bar where I don't recognize everyone from last week) I'm ready for a more routine life thats not here one day, there the next, up early this day, up late this night, etc. I think my body will be so much happier! I'm very apprehensive to leave home though. This is where I grew up and its pretty much all I know. There are a few people around that I'm really not excited to leave here either (they probably know who they are!) I just keep telling myself everything will work out in time. It's just a year and a lot can happen in that time. In the end everything is all right, if its not right, its not the end.

Alas, I would love to spend a few days at the beach with a cocktail in hand and have no a worry in the world, but oh yea, I get to work right through spring break :( All I have to say is, Good Gravy!

"It's Not Settling If You Can't Do Any Better"

First off, my apologies for being a lame blogger for the last month. My life is pretty routine lately...school, work, work, work, weekend, school, work work, weekend. etc.

Anyways on to my current thoughts. My dear friend Kathleen was quoted to say the title of this blog "It's not settling if you can't do any better" just a week ago at one of our favorite downtown establishments. And to that I have to say, "no thanks"

As little girls we all dream of growing up some day and meeting that one special boy that sweeps us off our feet, and slips a shiny diamond on our ring finger. We dream of a beautiful wedding with family, friends, dancing, and the best night of our lives. We dream of having our own children to raise, and take care of and love. In my hometown, most girls I went to high school with married their high school sweetheart shortly after graduation (and some even before) and by now have 1,2, or even 3 kids by now.

Here I am, almost 25 years old, no marriage, no children, and not even a serious prospective hubs to show for myself. Now, it was understandably for a good reason, and I'm thrilled that in  3 months I will be able to finally use this hard earned degree for some good.

I have dated my fair share of guys in the past, and I think its safe to say I don't have a particular type. of guy I tend to go for. One thing I've learned though, is that I will absolutely not settle for someone I am not 100% head over heels for. Every guy has his redeeming qualities and things that make him seem like an eligible candidate.

At the end of the day though, if  you cannot visualize this man standing at the end of the aisle with a huge smile on his face, or holding your newborn baby for the first time, then he's not the one. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely think everyone should date a few Mr. Wrongs before finding their Prince Charming, and I think we're all guilty of this. When I was a freshman in high school I was positive I was going to marry the boyfriend I had then. That was over 10 years ago now, and I think we are both completely different people now

So I guess the moral of this story is, Ladies, don't settle for a guy just because he has a good job, a lot of money, is good looking, or really nice....If he doesn't make your toes curl when he kisses you, doesn't make the world disappear when he wraps you in his arms, and doesn't give you butterflies every time you see his name light up on your phone, he's not the one.

Waiting may seem difficult, especially when all your friends are getting married and having babies and whatnot, but settling is not an option, for me or anyone else.

And Kathy, If you ever feel like you can do better, then you're settling, and that's not allowed..

"You like to see homos naked?? NO, Home is what you make it!!"

First off, no offenses to anyone with that title. It's purely a line from Joe Dirt. So if you're offended, cool your jets.

To the point I'm trying to make with this post. There's something that has always bugged me (at least since I moved away from home) and for some reason tonight I am tired of just thinking it to myself.

When we turn 18, we move away from home (at least most of us do) to embark on our new and exciting life as a college student) Nothing is more exciting and awesome than the new found freedom (at least to me because I had pretty strict parents) I was wide-eyed and giddy to make new friends and have new experiences. I never once had the thought that I was going to hate where I was moving.

Maybe its because I came from a small town with not much to do on the weekends besides drive around on dirt roads. It really frustrates me when people constantly gripe about the place they are. Kirksville was certainly not the ideal location for a young adult to live. We had about 6 bars, and barely even a movie theater. But I never once caught myself saying "I hate Kirksville because there's nothing to do" I had TONS to do. I had amazing friends and there was ALWAYS something fun going on. Even if there wasn't we made our own fun. I remember nights spent building risque snowmen all over campus, watching Jon & Kate +8 and taking a drink every time you saw a sextuplet. I never missed Starbucks, Bread Co, or any of that jazz (maybe a mall just a little, but there wasn't one close to West Plains either).

Point being, Kirksville is a lame town thats always cold and there's not much there. But I (and all my friends) had a blast. Best memories of my life that I always wish I could relive.

Springfield is like living in New York City compared to Kirksville. Its by far the biggest town I've ever lived in and while it may not be to others, I think its pretty great. It may not be the most awesome town in the world, but to the group of friends that frequently sit around playing CatchPhrase, we definitely make it fun.

It makes me sad and mad when people constantly bash Springfield for being lame and this and that and the other...It's only as bad as you make it. If you come in open-minded and willing to make to friends and have new experiences, you could just possibly have the time of your life. I know that I'm super excited to move to Phoenix soon, but I'm sure as hell going to miss CatchPhrase, downtown, and even the Hodeo when I leave. And most importantly I'm going to miss the amazing friends I've made here. They have truly made Springfield an amazing place to spend a few years, and I am so happy to have them all in my life.

The Beginning of the End

As per usual weekends in Springfield, we decided to venture downtown and see if anything exciting was happening. The cardinals caravan was in town, and I knew some of the players were supposed to be at one of the bars, so I kind of had an idea of where we should go.

Danny got off work at 10 and came to get his lady friends (Kathy & I) to chauffeur us around. We went to Trolleys, but there was hardly any crowd and no sign of the baseball players/future husband I was looking for. Danny and Kathy wouldn't stop complaining about how hungry they were so we ended up at TGI Fridays (on a Friday, HA!)

We finally went back to my house with intentions of watching movies and using my brain scratcher.
I've been realizing a lot lately, that this is the end. In just a few months we'll all (well mostly) be saying good bye to Springfield and I'm so sad that I'm going to be so far away from my amazing friends.

I remember this feeling from Truman. On the last night before graduation, I remember standing on the stage at Wrongdaddy's screaming the words to "I Love College" with my best friends and knowing that after the next day, our lives would never be the same. I'm still happy I get to talk to those girls occasionally even though one is married and pregnant, one is getting married, one lives in New Orleans, and one is in nursing school. We're certainly not those rambunctious sorority girls with nothing better to do with our lives than a Monday Night Power Hour!

I'm so excited to start a new chapter of my life in Phoenix and I truly love moving to a new city and starting fresh, but at the same time, I know I'm going to have that moment where I'm screaming "I Love College" and bawling my eyes out over saying good-bye to Springfield. This time I just already know its coming.

Karma Schmarma

So I don't know if I ever believed in karma before some recent events, but the way my life has unfolded during 2011 makes me wonder if the way we treat other people truly reflects on how people treat us. I'm not really talking about myself in this instance. Granted, there have been times when I have been a less than stellar friend, daughter, student, etc., but in general I think I'm a pretty good person, and would do just about anything to help out someone in need. I'm such a sucker for school kids selling things, and even though I'm broke, I always try and throw a few dollars in the collection plate on Sunday. I'm really working on myself to be someone that everyone wants to be friends with.

Some people, I have learned, could care less about anyone else on this planet, as long as they are receiving self-gratification. I'm not going to use any real names in this story, but my close friends will probably know who all the "main characters" are.

In the springtime, I met this guy at a bar. He seemed pretty nice, it was kind of whatever. I was fresh out of a relationship, and not really looking to settle down with anyone at this time. For this story, we'll just refer to him as X. I hung out with X every now and then for a couple months. Nothing serious, usually just meeting up at a bar or restaurant for a drink. Over those few month's I began to meet some friends of X. His best friend and partner in crime being Y. X & Y went everywhere and always partied together.

There were times when X would not invite me out to do things because "Y didn't particularly like having me around because I ruined their chances to pick up other girls" Whatever, I wasn't in a relationship with X, and I wasn't sitting around waiting for anything to happen. I was going out with my friends, doing my own thing, and having a great time.

One night I was out with X and he had 2 new friends. Z & W. He told me that Z & W were new to town, and Z just happened to be Y's brother. They were fun for sure, and I introduced them to the rest of my friends.

I had heard rumors that X was a shady gator, but since I didn't really have any feelings invested I didn't really care what he did on his own time. He, however, found out that I was not sitting at home twiddling my thumbs the whole time he was out doing other things, and that made him mad enough to never want to talk to me.

During the time I wasn't really talking to X or Y, I continued to have fun and do my own thing. Over the summer Y began to date a girl named G. G was friends with a girl who happened to be "in a relationship" with X. No one except a very select few (not me) knew that X had a girlfriend. Y confronted G's friend about X's activity and she did not believe he would do the things he did. Y decided he could no longer be friends with someone that would treat their girlfriend so poorly.

Finally, with X out of the picture, I began to hang out with Y and G a lot more. Z was around a lot too. The only person that would really hang out with X was W. W and X only lasted as friends for a few weeks, because X did some unfriendly things to him too.

So hear I am, almost a year after the fact, and I am so happy to be such good friends with Y & G (who are a super cute couple) and Z. W is still around, but kind of doing his own thing. I just think its the pure definition that if you treat people badly, it will come back and haunt you.

This is just a very very quick story of the last year, but I've never seen more clearly how true karma is. We've talked so much about writing a book about this last year, because so many things have happened, so I guess this is the first step. Just getting the words out so I don't forget.

Carb Fest Has Begun!

Typically everyone says they're going to eat healthier and get into shape at the beginning of a new year, and I hope to do that this year, however, that will have to wait a few days because carb fest has begun.

A few years ago, my aunt Kristen came down and spent the weekend with me in Springfield to do some Christmas shopping. It just so happened that we had bagels for breakfast, mall pretzels for lunch, and bread bowl pastas for dinner (which happened to be the first weekend we ever saw Jersey Shore). So it was deemed carb fest weekend.

She didn't make it down before Christmas this year, but we are still celebrating the annual holiday by doing some shopping and fun girly things. So far we've been to Big Whiskey's, Happy China, and of course Andy's! We're already making plans for tomorrow!

On another note, my New Year's Eve was wonderful. Doug, Celeste, and Danny came over for snacks and cocktails....we ended up playing Catchphrase which got ridiculously intense! We ended up at Midnight Rodeo as the clock struck 12, and after toasting and downing our champagne, Celeste insisted we "dance like idiots" so the first thing I did in 2012 was dance like an idiot around a bunch of strangers. Sounds like a great start to my year! 2011 was an amazing year for me, and I hope 2012 to be just as wonderful!